Thong, Thong Blues
A California woman claims she has been traumatized by her underwear. Marcrida Patterson is suing Victoria’s Secret over a defective thong.
She was squeezing into the thong when a piece of decorative metal popped off and slapped her eye. For those of you with knowledge of such things, this particular thong is the “low rise v string.”
Ms. Patterson, who works as a traffic cop, said her injury will affect her for the rest of her life.
I, too, was once traumatized by a thong. It happened during the final moments of the evening news. I was producing the final segment which featured what we call a beauty shot. On this particular summer day, our beauty shot was broadcast from a stationary camera at a lake. As our anchor said goodbye, we segued to the beauty shot for the final 25 seconds.
Imagine our surpirise and horror when a 300 wearing a thong walked into our camera shot. And on live television, she commenced to digging her thong out of her rear end.
Friends, no amount of therapy can erase that image from my mind.
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